Best. Dissertation. Ever.

After an afternoon of swimming in icy water and gorging on giant burritos with Nick, Mike, and Valdemar, I had an IM conversation with Mike that covered, in no particular order, Kurt Vonnegut, the need for me to host something at my apartment, American History X, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Japanese history and current geopolitical aspirations, somethingawful.com, and the usefulness of the following words for making yourself sound smart in any conversation about politics: leverage, geopolitical, triangulate, and tragedy of the commons. But the funniest part has to be the excerpt reproduced below. Before Christmas someone showed me Bruce Hoppe’s dissertation from Cornell. Hoppe sandwiched his dissertation between a prologue and an epilogue which are a dramatic tale of romance, shipwreck, and betrayal, starting with the classic line “It was a dark and stormy night.” It reads as though it came straight from a pulp romance novel, with a few jokes about network flows thrown in. It’s incredibly funny, and I’m still impressed that Hoppe had the audacity to throw it into his dissertation. I passed it around to a few of my friends, and somehow it came up in our IM conversation tonight. (If you want to read the whole thing, you can download it here. You need a PostScript viewer to read it; if you don’t have one, Google it and you should be able to find a free one. Check out the Prologue and Epilogue.) Anyway, now you too can laugh at our feeble attempts at imitation:

Pundit966: transportation drama
CorneliusK10: or like that paper you sent us
Pundit966: if i could do anything even half as good i would totally try to do that
CorneliusK10: you just need to use way to much description
Pundit966: right
CorneliusK10: "well, the solution all lies in traffic manipulation", said Greg through his wildly unkept mustache
Pundit966: "Oh, Greg, can't you leave the office behind you?" moaned Vanessa, a hint of seduction tinging the fatigue in her voice.
Pundit966: Her lithe figure was silhouetted against the empty alley, lit only by the light of a pale October moon
CorneliusK10: "no, we can't", greg replied with a moarnful sigh, "that's what makes us transportation engineers"
Pundit966: "but i'm a transportation engineer too! didn't you know?"
Pundit966: a shock of recognition ran through greg
Pundit966: of course
Pundit966: why didn't he recognize her?
CorneliusK10: the desk was cleared in one motion, but neither could quite recall by whom.
Pundit966: lolol
Pundit966: she leapt into his firm embrace
CorneliusK10: haha.. i'll definitely be saving this conversation
Pundit966: me too
Pundit966: i might even put it on my blog
Pundit966: you'll be more famous than ever
CorneliusK10: booya

Time Machine Blog #5

The semester is off to a good start so far, despite having an exam already for stochastic programming. Classes (discrete choice, transportation logistics, and stochastic programming) will all be good, although I expect the workload to be a little greater this semester than last, because two, possibly all three, of the classes will have projects, and I need to start doing research for my thesis this semester. But I think I will enjoy it all. Now, I’ll tie up a loose end by finishing off my TMB’s from my time at home.

Decemr 28, 2004 (Tuesday) – So this is it. I’m flying back to Austin today after two weeks back in Washington. A break is always good, and I got to do some reading I had been wanting to do for a while — Bunyan’s Pilgrim’s Progress, Plato’s Republic, Josh McDowell’s A Ready Defense, and Travels with Charley by Steinbeck. Travels with Charley is amazing. Every American owes it to him- or herself to read it at some point. (It’s a journal from Steinbeck’s drive around America in the 1960’s as he attempts to rediscover American culture as it exists in all parts of the country.) I’ve also started the Confessions of St. Augustine, we’ll see how far I get on that before school starts.

It’s always weird going home. Coming home as an undergrad was one thing, because I only lived an hour away from home, and I never really had my own household, so to speak. I lived in the dorms three years. I was in an apartment one summer, but I was just there for the summer, so it wasn’t my apartment. I was in Texas one summer, but I knew that was just temporary. I lived in a boat my senior year, but it wasn’t my boat. It was Frank’s parent’s boat. So when I drove down to Texas six months ago and moved into my current place, it was the first time I really felt like I was living in my place. And that’s what made going home so different. Although there was little stuff, like not having the food in the fridge that I’m used to (even though I could have gone grocery shopping and picked stuff out, that’s still not the same), I think the biggest problem was a sort of role confusion, to borrow a term from the sociologists. When I came home, I didn’t know what I was supposed to do, or more importantly, who I was supposed to be. One result of this is that whenever I come home I feel like I regress, and act like I did back in high school. I’ve become a different person in the last five years at college, and when I go home I don’t know what to make of it. How am I supposed to act around my family? What am I supposed to do around the house? How should I spend my time? I know that none of it is that big a deal, that really nobody else is going to be too disturbed regardless of all that. But for me, it creates confusion. When I go home, I don’t know who I am anymore. I suppose there comes a point in everybody’s life when going home stops being a “return to the nest,” so to speak, and becomes a visit, a point when going home becomes an interruption to your regular life, and not an escape from it. I think this break was that point for me, when even a week felt like too long. But that’s just how it is. That’s the fruit of maturity. That’s life.

Hymn nerd

I am a nerd. You probably already knew that, but here are two more reasons. First, my current cell phone ring is the hymn tune MORNING STAR (the usual text is “Brightest and Best of the Stars of the Morning,” an Epiphany hymn). Second, I answered a call earlier today, around 3:28. When the tower bells started playing at 3:30, I noticed that they were in the same key as my phone ring. So in case you were wondering, the UT tower bells toll in the key of G.

By the way, DC was great. Add my travelogue to the list of updates I need to do sometime. And no, I haven’t forgotten to finish my TMB’s either.

Without immigrants, America is nothing.

Latest immigration controversy: the Mexican government publishing a comic book warning potential emigrants about the dangers of crossing the border, and also offering some tips on staying safe in the process. Supporters say that hundreds of emigrants die each year, either dehydrated in the desert or drowned in the Rio Grande, and that warning them of these dangers can both deter emigrants, or at the least allow determined emigrants to prepare for the rigors of the journey. Critics say that it is tantamount to endorsing illegal immigration.

Aside from the fact that the Mexican government really has nothing to gain from illegal immigration (after all, there’s nothing like a flood of people leaving the country to make Mexico stronger), that’s not what struck me about this article (linked to below). What really hit me was the story of Braulio Munoz at the end, who has tried twice to illegally cross the Rio Grande in the past two weeks, and is determined to try again. He’s quoted as saying “God willing, we’ll make it to the United States — even if they kick us out 15 times.”

Ladies and gentlemen, this is what makes America strong. Immigration — especially illegal immigration — is what makes America strong. I point out illegal immigration in particular because that shows a level of devotion and determination far above that of legal immigration. In contrast to the stereotypes that anti-immigration advocates like to paint, illegal immigrants are anything but lazy. What I see in Braulio Munoz is someone determined to improve the lot of himself and his son, so determined that he’s willing to thwart the law and bring himself into physical danger as many times as necessary to do that. Call that what you will, but lazy it is not. My Chinese grandparents immigrated to the United States in the 1940’s illegally, using a “paper brother” — claiming that they were relatives of another family in the United States (and thus sidestepping some of the immigration quotas) when in reality they were not. And they struggled through public housing for some years, and worked jobs nobody would consider glamorous (owning a laundromat and convenience store) for all their working years. But they secured financial independence, and more importantly, their children, and their children’s children were poised to participate fully in American society, and the doctors and engineers they’ve raised are testament to that. For better or for worse, people who immigrate illegally probably tend
to be harder-working, and more determined to succeed than those who immigrate through legal channels.

This is the stuff that our nation is founded on. If you’re American, unless you’re fully Native American, your ancestors were immigrants, and I would hardly be surprised if at some point in your family tree there is an immigration that was, if not blatantly illegal, at least a little shady. And like it or not, America needs immigrants, because the first generation is willing to do things that few native-born Americans are willing to do. Illegral immigrants work longer than most Americans, with fewer breaks, at shittier jobs. Yes, shittier. How many Americans want to pick crops by hand for twelve hours a day? How many Americans want to be janitors or custodians, cleaning up other people’s messes all day long? Yet immigrants take these jobs gladly. And for what? Sub-minimum wage pay, and, far too often, bullying superiors who exploit their illegal status to abuse workers and their families, physically, emotionally, and sexually. (If you don’t believe me, check out this reprint of a November 20, 2001 USA Today article.)

So who are the lazy ones here? Americans who want to shut the doors to immigration and foreign competition out of fear they can’t keep up, or illegal immigrants who struggle through horrific living and working conditions out of determination to improve their lives and that of their families? Americans who demand frequent breaks and higher wages to support an increasingly luxurious and indulgent lifestyle, or illegal immigrants who struggle through poverty their entire lives in the hopes that their children can find success in America? Who’s living the American dream here? Or rather, who’s living in faith that the American dream will come to pass, and who’s living a life of wealth in spite of the American dream, riding on the success of their immigrant ancestors’ hard work? Immigration is the foundation of America, and it is because of immigration and immigration alone that this country truly is a land of wealth and opportunity.

Source: CNN

M.S. or Ph.D., that is the question. (Time Machine Blog #4)

M.S. or Ph.D., that is the question. That is the question that I’ve been thinking about on and off for the last few months, but especially so in the last few weeks. I came to UT just planning on getting my M.S. and finding a job, but I’ve been having second thoughts. I really like UT, and I really like my research group and advisor, and I really like the transportation program. And since I’m getting paid to come here, why not? Why not, indeed. Two major cons: the first is that there is a possibility that a Ph.D. might limit the jobs I could have after graduation, either due to overqualification or because of what employers would think my interests are in seeing that on my resume (i.e. only teaching or research). I’ve been talking with some people about that, and it seems that it’s only really a big issue in the private sector, which doesn’t particularly interest me anyway. The other big con is that it means Rachel and I won’t be graduating together, so that es the relationship a little trickier to plan for. But since she isn’t sure of her post-graduation plans yet, we couldn’t really plan for anything anyway. So for the time being we’ve agreed that this shouldn’t play too big a role in my decision, and although this is rational, that still doesn’t make it an easy thing to try to ignore.

Some say that you can always go back and get a Ph.D. later after going to work for a few years, and while this is true, you can always turn this on its head by saying that you’ll be working for the rest of your life — so what’s the hurry to start now? Plus, I’ve decided that if I’m going to get a Ph.D., I want to do it now. I love the school, my advisor, the program, and I’ve got a decent funding package right now — none of which will be guaranteed should I come back later.

I think that even if I get a Ph.D., I wouldn’t be that interested in research as a career — no academia for me. So I’d probably be looking for the same kind of jobs I would be looking for if I stopped with the M.S., or even if I was looking for jobs right out of my undergrad education. I really think it would be fun to “get my hands dirty,” so to speak, on actual engineering projects, at least for some time. And money isn’t that big a motivator for me, so I wouldn’t care if I wasn’t making any more money than someone with just a bachelor’s degree, as long as I was enjoying it. Plus having the Ph.D. gives me the flexibility to move into a more research-oriented track should I get bored with “real world” problems. My only concern would be getting that first job.

So now that I’ve rambled some, I think where I’m at right now is that I’ll get the Ph.D. as long as it will do me no harm. Even if I gain nothing financially or career-related because of it, I’ll do it because I’m having fun at grad school and don’t want to stop. But if it would significantly limit my career options, or make it harder on Rachel and myself and our relationship, then I have some heavy thinking to do. And on that note, I’ll segue into a related TMB:

December 26, 2004 (Sunday) – Today I spoke with Eric Soderquist, an old family friend from church and mentor on my senior project in high school. He’s an engineer for WSDOT, so I spoke to him about his opinion on whether or not I should pursue a Ph.D. I’ve been doing that a lot this break — both speaking with people in person and via e-mail, and here’s a summary of some of the advice I’ve receieved:

• I should get a Ph.D. because I am a curious person and would get bored quickly working a regular engineering job on “mundane” projects.
  
• If I’m planning on a state job, overqualification isn’t an issue (presumably since salaries are mandated by law).
  
• If I want to work for a private company and have a Ph.D., the onus would be on me to explain why the firm should hire me over someone with just a M.S., since they would assume I would ask for higher pay. Thus, I would have to prove that I can help them earn enough money to warrant hiring me over someone with a lower degree.
  
• I should “follow my dreams” — if I want to get a Ph.D., I should get it. If I’m overqualified for a job, then I wouldn’t want it anyway. (Several people told me this)
  
• I should go and work for a few years before thinking about a Ph.D.
  
• I should only consider a Ph.D. if I am interested in teaching or really love one specific topic.
  
• I should get a Ph.D. so people can call me Dr. Steve, because that would be cool.
  

OK, so the last one was really from Danny, and not from a practicing engineer, but I think you get the point. Basically I’m getting a lot of different advice, which isn’t entirely unexpected. Although of course, more information never hurts, and I’m just trying to gather as much advice as possible. Much of my break has been consumed with this. Sigh.

Time Machine Blog #3

Ah yes, Monday after New Years. There were a lot more people around the office today than last week, when I don’t think I saw anyone other than Satish. But today I ran into Deepak, Chandra, Ivan, Natalia… it’s good to see some other people around, it was getting kinda lonesome. And I really need to bring a book in tomorrow since I’m doing a lot of simulation runs that take a half hour each.

Also, I’m going to try to be more serious about practicing piano this semester. Well, keyboard is more like it, but in any case I picked out some pieces to work on: Beethoven’s variations on God Save the Queen (which I started a few years ago but never fully learned), Chopin’s Etude Op. 10, No. 3 (the pretty sounding one with the crazy hard part in the middle), and the Elegy from Rachmaninoff’s Fantasy Pieces Op. 2. Don’t know if I’ll be able to learn them, but I’ll try. And now for today’s TMB:

December 19, 2004 (Sunday) – Up to University Temple UMC for church this morning. Since buses from Tacoma to Seattle don’t run that often Sunday morning, the way the schedule worked out I ended up being there an hour early. I wondered around campus a bit, but it was raining and I didn’t want to get too soaked. Luckily, Magus Books was open so I did some browsing. Now, usually I’m pretty good about not spending money on stuff, but used bookstores are my weak spot. Lots of interesting stuff, and cheap means that I’ll always walk out with more books even though I haven’t finished the stuff I’ve bought the last time. And sure enough, I walked out with five books: Josh McDowell’s apologetics compendium A Ready Defense, Shakespeare’s The Tempest, Dostoyevsky’s The Idiot, some philosophical writings of Descartes, and a book about the historical struggle between science and theology. We’ll see how long these sit on the shelves before I get to them.

But church went pretty well, and I was surprised at how many people stopped to say hi to me. I was surprised to see them try a children’s pageant (since there are very few children that attend UTUMC) for the first time. The kids didn’t do that much (they mostly walked down the aisles with pieces of a star that said LOVE when you put them together, and also did the “no room at the inn” thing), and most of the “pageant” was the congregation singing Christmas carols, but I guess you have to start from somewhere. After church I met up with Phdar for lunch (mmm, Indian buffet, haven’t had that since I moved down to Austin), after which we returned to his apartment to watch Zoolander. He was nice enough to drive me all the way back to Puyallup, which is pretty far (about an hour each way). Anyway, immediately upon returning home we set out for my grandparents’ house for dinner, which was good as well. Tomorrow I get to go up to Seattle yet again to visit people at work… riding the bus from Puyallup to Seattle takes a long time! But that’s the suburbs for you…

Time Machine Blog #2

A happy new year to all my faithful readers out there! Actually I almost forgot it was the new year. For some reason I thought that today was the 31st and that Sunday was actually January 1. Oh well. I’ll just be happy that Texas won the Rose Bowl by one point, something that this school has a history of doing. (For instance, in the 2001 Holiday Bowl they beat Washington 47-46… curse you, Major Applewhite!) And now, another time machine blog:

December 17, 2004 (Friday) – I’ve been staying at Rachel’s place in Hansee for these first few days of break. After five months of communicating via phone, e-mail, and IM, it’s really nice to see her in person and hang out. I’ve also gotten to see a lot of stuff in Seattle that I hadn’t seen before, such as St. James Cathedral on First Hill, or the new library downtown. That building is something else. Anyway, things have been going smoother than either of us had expected (you never know what happens in five months apart), so that’s good. But unfortunately, tomorrow she leaves for Portland, I leave for Puyallup, and it will be a good three months before we see each other face-to-face again, so here’s to spring break.